It is after 10pm on a Sunday night. This ends my week of summer vacation. As a college student in an accelerated program to get my bachelor's degree in 2 years 8 months, I only get one week off for summer and then it's back to the intensities of school. Since I only get one week off of school, I decided to take the entire week off of work as well. And it was worth it. I did not check any of my emails. So, if I have a 7am meeting tomorrow, I have no clue! And I will not be in attendance. So, there. That's not the professional way to handle things, but really, I do not even want to check my email at this point. I should be in bed. And it has been a long week of "vacation."
Let me start by saying that everything that happened this week, was instigated by me. How? I make the choices in my life. I choose what to say, who to say it to, what to do, and who to do it with. I started it. I have not yet finished it. That's the beauty and the disaster of only having one week off. I need more time.
My original plan was to drive to Oregon for a day and soak up the ocean. Renew my being with the energy of the waves and the fresh salt air. Instead, I agreed to work on a local film project. I.HAD.A.BLAST. And I am very happy with the decision that I made. Film is my life. So, starting my week off with film was perfect. I also ended it with film. I just got home from a meeting of great minds for another film project that is in the works and prepping to take off any day now. It's in my blood.
I don't know what I had hoped to accomplish this week. I had my ideas, but I really couldn't depend on anything. While I do make my own choices, they don't all just depend on me. Some choices involve other people.
I am on a journey. A journey to find myself. A journey to know who I am and to deal with who I am. There are so many aspects of myself that I dislike. So many aspects that I wish I could change, but in reality, that's who I am. These journeys we take ourselves on are not for the weak of heart. At the same time, there are aspects of myself that I LOVE. I'm pretty awesome. And I'm not ashamed to be my own cheerleader.
So... My week...
Sunday started with a bang. You know, the day before 4th of July. I had homework. I also had a short film shoot. It was fantastic and I got to work with some amazing people. We have good filmmakers in this town. Hollywood needs to pay attention. I also stayed up until the sun rose. Because I could. And I did. I haven't done that in a long time.
Monday was Independence Day. I took my dog to Swan Falls Dam to be near water. To sit. Think. And love. That afternoon I had drinks with one of my Besties and her boyfriend. And my ex-husband. It was not like old times when we all hung out together when we were married. But it was good times. New times. And we laughed. I spent the night at home. I passed out on the couch with my dog in my arms. He's afraid of fireworks.
Tuesday, I started unpacking boxes. Instead of buying a new house, I have decided to buy the other half of my current house from my ex-husband. It will be a month-long process. I just hope I don't have to repack everything again and attempt to move. Tuesday night was dinner with filmmaking friends, planning a short film, and location scouting. Film: Always prevalent in my life.
Wednesday, was the same with the boxes. I also met a dear friend for lunch and we talked about life. We both needed it. It was good. That evening, I went to an event in Boise called Alive After Five. I watched a local children's band play covers of 90's songs and enjoyed a couple of beers. I ran into a coworker and we talked. I then spent the evening sharing dinner with friends. Sushi. It is great for bringing people together.
Thursday I woke up late, because I stayed up late, and I think I unpacked more boxes. I also worked on some film stuff. Then Thursday night I went to see KISS live with a very good friend of mine. It was EPIC!!! I've never seen them perform and I was blown away. I was never a fan before, but they just gained a new one. Seriously. Awesome. Concert.
Friday morning was a big life changer. Banks. Loans. Life. It'll all come together eventually, I'm sure. Breakfast with my ex-husband. That night, I shot a short film with some fantastic friends who are also incredible actors and crew. We had a TON of fun. And I can't wait to edit this film together.
Saturday, I got a massage. My mind, body, and spirit were replenished. I needed this. I spent the rest of the day at home. Unpacking boxes and working on film stuff. Then a new friend called me to hang out until the bars close. So, I did.
Sunday, started as every Sunday does, with a hike with my beloved pup. We talked about life - I talked, he chased critters - and we enjoyed the peace of the empty trails due to rain. As I was writing a new script for an upcoming project, a friend contacted me and told me to show up at this time at this place to work on another film. So, I did. Because: FILM. After the meeting, we hung out at a book store. I didn't even think those existed any more!!! There were people there! And books! And then I came home. And instead of doing my chores, I chose to write in my blog and chat with a friend about life.
I need more time to figure shit out. It has been said by some random people that after a breakup, you need time. Time to figure shit out. Time to understand yourself. Time to learn who you are. I feel like I've only scratched the surface. This week off of braining for work and school was necessary, but I don't feel like it was long enough. I'm reinventing myself. I'm understanding who I am, but I need more time. I'm just going to have to fit this in among the work and the school and the personal film projects. I can do this. I make things work. Maybe my healing comes shoved between everything else I'm trying to accomplish in life. Healing. Between work. And school. And film. And friends.